Holidays!

Hi everyone. Today, I shall be narrating about a very special person in Raffles Institution Red Cross. His initials are G. T., otherwise known as Gabriel Tan. He is very well-mannered and polite. BUT, TOO UN-uncouth. That was a bit stupid. I should have said, TOO un-boorish. Nevermind about that stunning *cough* *cough* language. Anyways, he always tries his utmost best to not offend everyone, even the nefarious Qi Jing who has earned a notoriety(no pun intended), but, his efforts are futile. In his attempt to render assistance to Qi Jing, he has offended the person whom everyone tries NOT to offend. Foo J. M., otherwise known as Foo Jia Ming.

*Disclaimer* This is a joke post.

We have strayed from topic, anyway, G. T. (NOT THE RACING CAR, Gabriel Tan XD) has posted a eating etiquette post a LONG TIME ago which I feel I should share with you.

Dear (gentlemen),

Please read this for your own sake. One does not start eating until:

(a) every person is served or

(b) those who have not been served request that you begin without waiting or

(c) other exceptions not referred to here.

At more formal occasions all diners should be served at the same time and will wait until the hostess or host lifts a fork or spoon before beginning.Before one starts eating, place a napkin on one's lap. If one is eating something that might create a mess, diners are recommended to place their napkins on one's collar and tuck it in. Even if one has dietary restrictions, it is inappropriate for non-relatives to request food other than that which is being served by the host at a private function, unless it is required to do so by the host or hostess. When a dish is being passed around, please do not stop passing when it reaches you. If passed, you should pass on the serving dish to the next person in the same direction as the other dishes are being passed. Place the serving dish on your left, take some, and pass to the person next to you. You should consider how much is on the serving dish and not take more than a proportional amount so that everyone may have some. If you do not care for any of the dish, pass it to the next person without comment.Dip your soup spoon away from you into the soup. Eat soup noiselessly, from the side of the spoon. When there is a small amount left, you may lift the front end of the dish slightly with your free hand to enable collection of more soup with your spoon. If you are having difficulty getting food onto your fork, use a small piece of bread or your knife to assist. Never use your fingers or thumb.Chew with your mouth closed. Do not slurp, talk with food in your mouth, or make loud or unusual noises while eating. Say "Excuse me," or "Excuse me. I'll be right back," before leaving the table. Do not state that you are going to the restroom. Refrain from blowing your nose at the table. Excuse yourself from the table if you must do so. Burping, coughing, yawning, or sneezing at the table should be avoided. If you do so, say, "Excuse me". You may rest forearms or arms on the table, but NEVER elbows. The fork is used to convey solid food to the mouth. Do not use your fingers unless eating foods customarily eaten as such, such as bread, asparagus spears, chicken wings, pizza, etc. Do not make unnecessary noises with utensils. FORK ETIQUETTEOne should hold a knife in one hand and a fork in another THROUGHOUT CONSUMPTION unless not provided. Also be sure to have the handle running along the palm and extending out to be held by thumb and forefinger. Most importantly, please do chew your food before swallowing. One should also not gulp or have more food without request. This is extracted from Peggy's The Definitive Guide to Manners and Etiquette.As most of your would probably be going overseas one day, one should maintain his dining etiquette to suit the respective culture. However, the information stated above should be widely accepted my most countries unless otherwise stated.

Thank you,

Gabriel Tan

...That was hundred percent genuine and authentic. So, cheers for Gabriel! Yay!

Most of you don't know who I am unless...

(a) You are from KHS.

(b) You are from RI.

(c) You are from RIRC.

(d) You are from KHS choir.

(e) You are from KHS Basketball.

(f) You are anyone related to me.

Now for the usual main course or le plat principal, a poem:

Mosquitos

A vile creation,

An infestation,

An itchy sensation,

Have you brought your calamine lotion?

If not, too bad,

the itch will be abysmal,

Scratching, raking, going mad,

Is what will occur.

The oblong tubes,

Sticking into your epithileum,

Gradually drain your blood,

Lapping it like a drunk pirate's rum.

A vile pest,

Worst than the rest,

Abhored by the people,

Loathed by the animals.

So raise your palms,

Bring them down with celerity,

And take delectation in ridding the world of another individual.

Oh, that creepy pest.

And what pest am I talking about,

Which spreads insidious diseases,

Resulting in a nasty bout?

Why mosquitoes of course,

With their inexorable thirst for blood.

Yikes, pests...